Smrgol (smrgol_t_kirin) wrote,

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The Cat-mas Tree

An uncredited cut n' paste from another of my many e-mail lists.


This is a wonderful time of year when the humans decorate the home for us
cats in anticipation of the visit from "Santa Claws."
The tree went up  yesterday, and so did we!  Whee!  Made it to the fourth
branch within the first five minutes before the Big Owner chased us out of
the tree. So, as we do every year, we waited and watched the humans decorate
the Cat-mas tree with all sorts of what the humans call "ornaments." We call
them "cat toys." Ornaments are invitations to a cat, bright and shiny
spheres just daring us to knock them off. And we're pretty good at it,
considering all the trees they've decorated.
Every year humans hang the ornaments a little higher out of our range,
forcing us to elevate our game to knock them off. Humans "ohhh and ahhh" as
they decorate the  Cat-mas tree. Us? We salivate in anticipation of the
night's activities.
The humans retire to bed, as is custom during Cat-mas season, leaving us to
play with our tree. Tonight is a challenge, the ornaments are at an all-time
high. We crept under the tree and began to scale branches. This is great! A
tree in our own home, why don't they do this year-round?
Five, six, seven branches, we climb like a pro. Ten, twelve, we are halfway
to the top, and there is the first ornament! This is easy as Cat-mas
fruitcake. We make our way down the branch approaching the first ornament.
It lightly jiggles as our weight causes the bough to bend. Almost there! One
paw away and we feel a shudder. Hey, something is not right here, we begin
to lose our balance. The room is tilting!  No, the room is not tilting....
the Cat-mas tree is falling!  ME-OW!!
It seemed like forever as the tree leaned, then pitched, and finally crashed
to the floor in a resounding bang of exploding bulbs, ornaments, and broken
limbs. We quickly extricated ourselves from the splintered tree just as the
Big Owner came bursting in snapping on the lights and talking excitedly.
There we were, sitting next to the tree, as innocent a look on our faces as
any other in the household.
"What happened?" he growled. Not a peep from us, we turned and looked at the
"I guess we hung too many ornaments on one side of the tree," we heard him
say later as he hoisted the mangled Cat-mas tree back into place.
"Goo-ood answer," we thought.
The Big Owner staggered off to bed, and we retreated to the living room.
Maybe we'll tear down those stockings that were hung by the chimney "with
     It was a good day....

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